My friends and I are walking, talking advertisements for the app GroupMe. We should get a minimum 90% commission on whatever money they make because we send no fewer than 150 texts to each other every single day. EVERY DAY. You know how adults think kids are horrible people because they won’t get off their phones or won’t pick up the phone to actually speak to their friends? We are those kids. Today alone, I have sent a Facebook photo I deemed disgusting, a YouTube video I promised to use in a testimony were someone ever put on trial for pedophilia, and I personally attacked my best friend for not leaving his room, though I, myself, had not seen the sun in 20+ hours. We are a loving group to say the least.
If anyone saw any of these texts, we would immediately be sent to a church camp to atone for our sins.
We don’t care.
Here’s the real beauty of GroupMe: Not only does it not clog up my actual text messages, because they are separate notifications, but it also lets you NAME things.
Oh boy, this is the best part. I will absolutely never reveal who holds which name in this group, which is entitled WING NIGHT, since that is how we were brought together–$0.60 wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. By the way, we worked ourselves up to free carrots, celery, ranch, and even valentines. Yes, I still hold my SuperMan valentine from our favorite server Jeremy.
Here are just some of the names we’ve given ourselves. I’m also including some names that are not members of the group, but absolutely should be.
Wing of Fire
Sauce Ass Bitch
Wing: Based on the Novel Chicken by Buffalo
wind beneath by WINGS
We 3 Wings of Asian Zing Are
Lord of the Wings
Hidden Valley Ranch
HP and the Order of the Asian Zing
Buffalo Nickel, Ranch Dressing, Inc.
let freedom WING
Winging on a Prayer
How Do I Get You a Wing
First Wings First
Bring Your Sauce to Work Day
Variations on a Wing
You decide which ones are real. ; )