I got a bed a little over a week ago. Before that I had been sleeping on a twin air mattress that was not entirely uncomfortable but was entirely the loudest piece of inflatable furniture ever invented. What they don’t tell you about air mattresses upon purchase is that they wander. If you are someone who moves in her sleep, there needs to be a disclaimer that says the air mattress will move with you. Noisily. I happen to be someone who moves in her sleep, so, in my brand spankin’ new 10X10 bedroom, I would fall asleep under the window and wake up in the morning with my head in the doorway.
Hence, the Burbank Ikea. A smaller Ikea in the grand scheme of things, which you wouldn’t know upon first look, but would immediately realize when you try to buy a bed for a few weeks, re-entering the store every time the bed lower down on your list of options has a notification that says there is at least one in stock at your local Ikea! Spoiler alert: there are none in stock. So, now enter the Ikea website: a fabulous display of what your home could look like if you were a young Swedish family with an interior designer for a mother and a Jesus-like carpenter as a father. That’s honestly the only way your space will even somewhat resemble the “inspiration” photos posted online. Want a classic, affordable, sleek look for your bedroom? Go with the Malm collection. Want a classic, affordable, sleek, and white look for your bedroom? Go with Nordli. I ended up with the Hemnes series, which I’m pretty sure is aimed at whoever is at a store where the Malm and Nordli collections are out of stock.
So without detailing the dramatic delivery debacle or the cursed construction of said furniture, we’ll move onto other parts of my LA.
I live in Burbank which is not the part of LA that you picture when someone says they live in LA. It’s pretty and my backyard is a mountain which is cool, but it’s a glorified mall. This is not a bad thing. There is a town center that has a Starbucks and a Coffee Bean truly one door apart, there are two movie theaters, (You could walk out the back door of one and in the front door of the other. When looking up movie times, I assumed they mistakenly listed movie times twice. Nope, two separate theaters.) there is a Target, and there is a Chipotle. What more could a girl want? Honestly Burbank is great for someone who just moved here. It’s pretty much like living on the corner of Healthy and Happy, but without John Corbett annoying you.
I take classes and intern in Hollywood. Directly in the middle of Hollywood. I drive by the Hollywood Bowl every day, I see a man dressed as Spiderman every afternoon, and I see people who might be famous, but probably aren’t. My classes are once a week with Upright Citizen’s Brigade, a theater and improv school that I’ve wanted to be a part of since I heard about it. So I drive down Santa Monica Boulevard every Sunday at least an hour before my class so I can park and sit in the coffee shop that’s attached to a Comedy Central stage that always has performances on Sunday afternoons, because, like strike while the iron’s still drunk I guess. I sit and read or write and wait for class to start, but mostly I’m texting my friends because it’s like the one hour a week I have to maintain the illusion that I’m an incredibly busy person and my phone will simply not stop ringing.
I intern at an improv theatre that is a franchise of a theatre called ComedySportz that was started in Milwaukee. One of the guys that started in Milwaukee is Ian Roberts, who was one of the founding members of the aforementioned Upright Citizens Brigade. I worked at the original Milwaukee theatre last summer and transitioned out here. This theatre is a lot smaller. But it’s filled with people who genuinely love improv and ComedySportz and sacrifice a lot of heart, money, and time to keep this little theatre afloat in a flooded market where there is live comedy seven nights a week in every single nook and cranny of the city.
About a month ago, on the first day I went to interview for my internship, I drove down the main drag of Burbank. I drive right next to Warner Brothers Studios. On the side of the studios is a picture of one of my comedy idols, Melissa McCarthy. I thought how cool that I get to live in this place where all of my heroes live and work from the ground up.
Well, it still is really cool. I drive by that Mike and Molly poster about four times a week and it still gives me chills every time.
I go to and from Burbank and Hollywood. Haven’t really explored elsewhere yet. Hopefully I’ll get a job soon, as, you know, that will be necessary if I want to stay out here.
That’s about it for now. I know my friends and family who are scattered across the world want to hear some incredible stories about how I’m performing at open mic nights three times a week or I’ve finished a screenplay and it’s being looked at by Aaron Sorkin or I’m happily engaged, but we’re waiting a year to start trying for a baby.
Nope, none of those things are true. But, let’s be honest, those things are in the works. That’s about all I can ask for now.