Characters

Here are some characters I want to write:

1. A U.S. president that is crazy smart, but can’t spell at all.

2. A woman in her mid-40s who has just remembered she didn’t want to have kids (she has 7, this is essentially a low-budget anti-Michelle Duggar character).

3. A man whose one and only flaw is that he can’t smell, so with the best of intentions he goes on a series of dates cooking awful smelling things for women, buying them terrible smelling flowers, and also not wearing deodorant. This man may be Matthew McConaughey.

4. A midwestern kid who just found out the legal drinking age is 21.

5. Not a man with lobster claws for hands, but a lobster with man hands for claws.

6. An entire group of friends that has never spoken out loud to each other, just texts or SnapChats each other. (You’re welcome, SNL, for this genius digital short idea.)

7. A high powered divorce lawyer who still believes in the sanctity of marriage.

8. A New York street performer that does not at all have a heart of gold or a compelling story.

9. The founder of Timber, an new online app that just matches you up with your exes.

10. A wedding planner who never found out about Pinterest.

11. A 64-year-old social media consultant.

12. An interior designer whose aesthetic is stripes.