Weak Updates

This week, LeBron James made his decision to return to the Cleveland Cavaliers. This marks the first return to Cleveland anyone has made since the world realized Cleveland was in Ohio.

The World Cup concluded today with Germany taking home the top prize, and also probably giant ass bugs.

Earlier today, Christopher Walken was announced to play Captain Hook in the live broadcast of Peter Pan set for later this year. We cannot emphasize enough how jolting this announcement is.

It was announced earlier this week that actors Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are expecting a baby later this year. Never before has there been a clearer divide between the pro-life and pro-choice campaigns among teenage girls.

The Fourth of July was celebrated by Americans everywhere last week. “Finally,” said parades.

The Fourth of July was last week, or as you might know it, the day of the “Do you know today’s date? HAHAHHAHAHA” joke.

Emmy nominations were announced earlier this week with nominations going to shows like “Orange is the New Black” and “Modern Family”. Noticeably missing from this year’s nominations were any TLC shows or really anyone who watches TLC.

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