Commercial Parody

Below you will find a commercial parody I’ve been working on. It’s not fantastic, but it’s something. It’s due tomorrow for my sketch writing class so we’ll see what they say. Hadn’t shared my actual writing-writing on here, and this seemed like as good as a choice as any. Sorry the formatting is messed up–Final Draft will not let you leave Final Draft without it ruining your life. Watch the Humira salon commercial for reference if you’re confused.

 

MONSTERA

Maria Waldkirch

INT. HAIR SALON

FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER walks into the hair salon, approaches a hair stylist. The stylist is horribly uncomfortable. FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER does his best to ignore his neck bolts. All dialogue is voiced over shots of Frankenstein’s monster trying to cover his neck bolts. Other customers are staring.

FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER (V.O.)

So there I was again, explaining my moderate to severe chronic neck bolts to another new stylist. It was a total embarrassment and not the kind of attention I wanted. So I had a serious talk with my scientist about my removal options. This time, he prescribed Monstera. Monstera helps to clear the growths on my neck by actually working inside my “body”. In clinical trials, most monsters with moderate to severe deformities saw 75 percent bolt clearance. And the majority of monsters were normal or almost normal in just four full moons.

Eventually, FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER is able to leave the salon. We see four shots of MONSTER leaving the salon, each time with slightly smaller neck bolts. FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER returns to the salon, this time more joyful and has a second appointment with the same stylist who is still uncomfortable.

VOICEOVER (V.O.)

Monstera can lower your ability to fight off demons including Lucifer, himself. Serious, sometimes fatal events, such as injections, biopsies, or other types of experiments have happened. “Blood”, “liver”, and “nervous system” problems, serious inhumane reactions, and new or worsening monster behavior have occurred. Before starting monstera, your scientist should test you for evilness. Ask your scientist if you live in or have been created in a region where certain horrible responses are common. Tell your scientist if you have had Stockholm Syndrome, narcissism, are prone to multiple personalities, or have symptoms such as growling, a flat head, terrible hair, or scars. You should not start Monstera if you have any kind of human nature.

FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER exits the salon smiling.

FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER (V.O.)

Make the most of every monster. Ask your scientist about Monstera today. A clearer neck is possible.

 

Blackout.

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