I’m taking life a little too seriously, but that’s fine.

I have a very analytical mind, but I also happen to have a passion for creativity. Something I’ve been thinking about a lot is why I’ve chosen to go down the path I’m going. Everything I’ve ever really wanted to do will make me zero dollars and that’s could even be if I’m the absolute best at it. Most people would say that my college experience and the past three months and my general disregard for “real” majors/careers/etc. is dumb. I fully realize I could change my mind four thousand times before landing in a career or a lifestyle that I love, but for right now, I am all in with trying to start a career as a comedy writer.

Five years ago, I made a similar decision–I was all in on becoming a singer. I knew I never wanted to be an artist. I wanted to sing for others. I wanted to sing pretty songs and become a better musician and challenge my mind. Well, I did all of those things. Is that it, then? Is that all I needed to get out of being a musician? Maybe. But I still want to sing pretty songs and be a better musician and challenge myself with music, but I made a decision that that’s not something I want to get paid for. It doesn’t seem worth it to me.

 

So, why did I make a decision that I do want to get paid for my writing? Do I value it more? Do I think I’m better at it? Well, if anyone was looking in from the outside in, they’d think I have more experience as a musician and I should really put my eggs in that basket.

 

By the way, I don’t have an answer for this, and I’m probably not supposed to have an answer for this. I 100% know that I’ll read this in a couple of years and laugh at how seriously I took everything. Even writing this now, it’s so apparent how much I need to mature. But that’s life. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that’s because I worked my ass off to get where I am. Oh, also luck helped a little. And also some slaps in the face. It’s all worth it, though.

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