Weekend Update Wednesdays 10/29/14

Taylor Swift’s new record “1989” released this week and it is already one of the top selling albums of the decade.While the album sales for 1989 are great, the haircuts definitely were not.

It was “National Cat Day” earlier this week, otherwise known as “Singles Awareness Day Pt. 2”.

It was “National Cat Day” earlier this week and cats all over the world celebrated by being unloving and hissing anytime someone got anywhere near them.

Halloween takes place later this week, but razor blades have been found to no longer be a hazard for children. Mostly because to get a razor blade you need to be a millionaire and you also need the patience to ask Craig, the eternally high Walgreens worker, if he remembers where the key to the razor section is.

Ebola is still, for some reason, a topic of conversation for Americans everywhere this week, perhaps because no illness has been so contagious since Bob Costas’ pink eye during the Winter Olympics.

This week, it was announced that the popular cinnamon whiskey “Fireball” was being recalled in some European countries because the liquor contained an ingredient also found in anti-freeze. We asked college students how they were taking the news and they simply responded by asking if anti-freeze was a quicker way to get wasted than Fireball.

Last week, a Chinese woman spent an entire week in KFC after she was dumped by her boyfriend. Apparently he didn’t want to “double down” on their relationship. (Sorry.)

Midterm elections take place next Tuesday, so please, don’t forget, if Rob Ford can get elected, anyone can. I’m talking to you, Clay Aiken.

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